Counseling is a unique experience in the sense that the relationship between a counselor and a client are different. Clients are generally in a more exposed position and share meaningful/difficult parts of their life while the counselor exposes very little, if any, personal information. I remain aware of this, and am humbled by the courage that I frequently encounter in those seeking counseling. Sometimes people believe that seeking help is a sign of weakness, and that it is wrong to ask for help. Those who ask for help are some of the strongest and bravest people I know.
Fundamentally, our lives are meant to be joyful. John Gottman, one of the premier couples therapists in the world, discovered that happy relationships tend to have five positive occurrences to each negative event. Furthermore, part of our brain measures negative experiences as being five times more impactful than positive experiences. Life inherently has negative bumps in the road that may temporarily divert us from joy. Since everyone has differing “bumps” in the road, I tailor my approach to suit each individual’s specific needs and do not see counseling from a “one-size-fits-all” perspective. My view of counseling is that it should be a collaborative process, in which I empathetically attune to your experiences, and gear the sessions toward serving your needs.
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” – Maya Angelou
A passion of mine in counseling is working with couples. Whether they are newly dating, engaged, or has been together for decades, I have enjoyed helping reuniting couples and strengthening their bond. In some instances a partner might not be willing to attend counseling. That is okay! When one person in the relationship changes, it invariable impacts the other and creates change for the relationship as a whole.