Research is showing us that our brains are wired for relationship and in the context of healthy relationships we grow as individuals. Pain and/or trauma often leave us feeling ashamed, isolated, and alone. When we live with unhealthy relationships we are more inclined to hide our shame from these relationships for fear of rejection and abandonment. I believe the therapeutic relationship is an essential component of counseling. The connection I establish with my clients is one based on compassion and empathy. Seeing my clients for who they are and not for their experience is crucial part of the relationship I form with you. When working with someone suffering from anxiety, I do not see him or her as an anxious person, but someone who has anxious experiences. You are more than your experiences! If I were to see my client as an anxious person, I would ultimately be working with the symptoms instead of the client.
Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone. - Margaret Wheatly
Throughout my time and education as a clinician, I have discovered that the head and heart speak two different languages. You’ve probably noticed that you can change your mind quite simply or rationally understand why you “should” or “shouldn’t” be angry, depressed, or anxious. Emotions need to be processed through the heart in order to move on, and I believe that we cannot process these emotions until the depths of the emotions are understood. Just as one must think to change their mind, one must feel in order to to change their emotions. My approach helps in slowing the brain down in order to honor the voice in your heart. While this is not as easy as changing your mind, the outcome of the work tends to be transformative and enduring. In instances where the depths of these emotions are not fully worked through, they are saved for later, and I find it will eventually works against us.
In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it. -Mitch Albom
When we experience significant pain and/or trauma we can become confused, disoriented, and lost in the emotional aftermath. Much like driving a car, where we look is often where we steer, and sometimes we steer right into our pain over and over again. I provide practical tools that you can apply in your daily experience so that you might begin steering in a more desirable direction.
I have been honored to walk alongside my clients as they journey through their sometimes difficult, and seemingly impossible life events, so that they might find peace. While the head can change its mind, the heart can be ultimately be transformed.